I made a mistake. I did something wrong. I did something my girlfriends knew i would never, but i did it and i still cant get over the fact that i made this mistake.
I found out something from Zm yesterday, their perception of me back in Secondary School. I didnt use to care what people bitched about me, because i know its not true. My girlfriends know they are not true, me myself know its not true and its enough. But somehow, i still got a little affected because if i didnt portray myself like that, why would people say such things about me?
Never judge a book by its cover. Hmm...i probably need to do some self-reflections as well.
For the last time, i am not a wild child, im not someone who can play along. If your intentions to get near me was because you think the same way as all the others, i beg you to be so kind and do me a great favour by taking a step back and leave me alone already.
Ive been showing too much of my vulnerable moments lately, revealing too much truths about myself, my weak self. I think its time i stop. Its time i let everyone know i am that strong person that nobody can bring down. That ice queen Amby that initimidates, that nobody can get close to.
Because i was weak, i let my guard down only to let you come in to destroy it. Im rebuilding my barrier, my defence and im not gonna let anyone in my comfort zone anymore. Im not gonna be caught off guard and let people like you destroy me, ever again.
Im that barbecued marshmellow, that happy bunny.
I made a mistake, and i cant get over it. Lesson learnt, but through the hard way. Maybe, looking on the bright side, like what Zm said..at least my suicidal thoughts ceased.
Zm.. i hope you're gonna be happy from now..if you ever dare to put me off your priority list, i will burn your car. (i know where you stay although its damn far hahahhaha)
Amby.. take a deep long breath and continue your journey. Be the Amby everyone used to know, not the Amby everyone gets worried about.
14th of March ... doesnt signify anything anymore.
I wish i could tell you imu but its just gonna make myself look and sound so stupid..im just right here.. right here waiting for your return..
* yours truly.
amber.ruoxuan\\twenty\
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20051987\\single\\operations analyst @ credit suisse\\friendster*
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